National Blog Posting Month – January 2014 – Pressure
Prompt – Do you feel pressure to be perfect? How much of it is tied to what you see online?
Another way to phrase the question is to ask, ‘Hey Penny! Are you a perfectionist?’
Uh, yeah. I’m a perfectionist.
I remember as a kid thinking that being ‘perfect’ was actually something one could attain. Part of this, I think, came from religion. I was raised Mormon (not that that’s really relevant), and like most Judeo-Christian religions, I was told that I was imperfect because I was already a sinner.
What a terrible thing to tell a kid. Really.
And I believed it, and tried not to be a sinner. But seriously, kids get in trouble. They make mistakes. They get yelled at. I got so down on myself for all those failures.
Whether that was the start of my anxiety, or just a result of it, I don’t know. Nevertheless, my life has always been a struggle to achieve perfection, and it’s only since I started treatment for anxiety that I’ve really been able to accept that perfection isn’t possible.
Yet somehow, I still expect it from myself.
I don’t know if the Internet has made that better or worse. Surely, trying to stay on top of my blog and all the goofy on-line things I do can be anxiety-provoking. But I do that to myself.