Category Archives: Home Life

My 18 Things

18 Things is a book written by Jamie Ayres, to be released on January 24th. In celebration, Jamie is hosting a one-week blogfest in which everyone is encouraged to blog (or otherwise post) their own bucket list of 18 things (or fewer). It seemed like fun, so I decided to join in.

What are your 18 things?

I do have a bucket list, tucked away in my brain somewhere. There are items that have been on it for as long as I can remember, and other things that have been added recently. Occasionally, something gets removed. For whatever reason, I have abandoned some things on the list. It’s never been a long list, so I’m not sure I can make it to 18, but I’ll try.

Firstly, there are the things that have always been on my bucket list:

1) Own an equid. I don’t care if it’s a horse, mule, or donkey (or a zebra, for that matter!), I just want an equid. I can trace my being where I am today all the way back to when I was four years old, and my mother told me about her horse. (Read about that here.) I love the beasts, and I want to own one (and hug it and love it, but not necessarily call it George).

2) Drive a race car. Even though I no longer keep up with NASCAR (mostly because very few of the races are on the non-cable networks anymore), I have always loved racing. I was raised around cars and the smell of garages. There’s a local track here that I can go to and just sit with my eyes closed taking in the sounds and scents. I’ve always wanted the experience of going full-throttle at Daytona. One day I will.

3) Write a book. I mean fiction. Well hey! I need to change this to ‘publish’ a book, because I have actually written a book now. Two, to be exact, with two more in progress. So, OK, publish a book.

4) Get a Ph.D. Oh, wait. I did that. This is an item that was on my life-goals list when I was a kid. Sometimes it’s nice to include things like this to remember your successes, especially when things start feeling overwhelming and impossible. Happily, not only have I gotten my Ph.D., I’ve also managed to earn the respect of my colleagues in my (albeit narrow) areas of specialty. That’s pretty cool.

Now, if this is a proper bucket list, it oughtta have items on it such as things to try (bungee jumping, anyone?) or places to visit (the pyramids, maybe?), but I never seem to think about these things. I’ve gotten to do some pretty amazing things already, and I’m sure I’ll do more (but probably not bungee jumping). I’ve been places where most people will never go and will probably have opportunities to do that again. But there still are a few things:

5) Learn the longsword. I’ve always had a deep and abiding interest in the Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA), and finally decided that I really want to learn how to sword fight like a knight. Only last November, I finally found an instructor who can help me do this.

6) Write a screenplay and have it get optioned. Seriously, how cool would that be? I took a screenwriting class way back in graduate school, and last year I actually wrote a complete screenplay (which now needs to go in the recycle bin so I can start over – my first drafts of anything are always pretty bad!). There’s some big screen writing festivals (like the Great American PitchFest) that I’d like to go to eventually, once I’m convinced I have a ‘optionable’ script.

Geez. 18 things is really hard!

I could, I suppose, add a list of people I’d really like to meet. It would be best, of course, if I had cause to meet them because of who I am, not just because I’m a drooling fan. But I’d accept a random meeting in a hotel lobby.

7) ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic – musician. I’ve always loved his music. As a kid, they were just funny parodies. As an adult, I really appreciate his musical talent and the original songs that he’s written. Seriously any song that can incorporate the phrase ‘Islets of Langerhans’ deserves a Grammy. I listen to Pancreas and Hardware Store whenever my mood needs a boost.

8) James Purefoy – actor. I’ve only recent become a fan (in the last two years). The first time I knew I was watching him in a movie, it was the movie Ironclad, where he played the lead of Thomas Marshal, a Templar Knight. Then I saw him in another movie, and realized I was seeing him everywhere in all manner of roles. He’s an incredible actor, and (or so it seems from anecdotal evidence and various interviews) a genuinely nice, caring human being. The admiration goes a bit deeper, however. Something clicked in me after seeing Ironclad. It reminded me of my wish to learn the longsword and was what motivated me off the couch and into the gym. Since seeing that movie, I’ve dropped on the order of 30 pounds and am easily in the best shape I’ve been in since I graduated high school. I started taking sword lessons (yay!) and started writing my first novel then, too. He doesn’t know it, but his work has been very inspirational to me. I’d like to meet him and thank him.

Well, ten shy of 18. Still, it’ll take some doing to accomplish these things, especially in addition to all the other things I have going on, like maintaining a marriage, keeping a job, and raising a special-needs child. This will work. For now.

Bruce Tortilla Soup – Recipe

I hate to cook. I mean I really hate to cook. It’s not that I can’t cook. When I do cook, it’s always received very well. It’s just that cooking makes a mess. And messes are very difficult for people with OCD to deal with. (Yes, I have OCD.)

I do have a spaghetti sauce recipe that I like. I’ve never eaten anything like it anywhere else.  Fundamentally, I think it’s because I start with a roast, rather than ground meat. Secondly, I think it’s because I almost always use game meat. (Speaking of which, I have a bunch a venison in the freezer. I see more spaghetti sauce coming on!)

One thing I have learned to make is tortilla soup. I decided I wanted to make tortilla soup at Thanksgiving time in 2011, because I hate the big holiday production (again, the OCD) but I still wanted to cook a turkey. I decided I would make turkey tortilla soup. It also happened that my husband would be out of town that day, so it was just going to be me and the boy, so simple was better. (It wound up not being just me and the boy, and the tortilla soup was just perfect to share with my guests!)

I searched the Internet for a while and read up on the various recipes for tortilla soup. I picked out the common themes and created my own recipe, keeping it as simple as possible. I was basically winging it. Here’s my recipe for turkey tortilla soup:

Ingredients:

1 can (15 oz) red enchilada sauce

1 can (15 oz) stewed (or some other kind of) tomatoes (just plain, no spices or addtional stuff)

2 cups of chicken broth

1 tsp cumin

1/2 cup Half-and-Half

1 cup (or however many you want) crushed white corn tortilla chips

2 cups (or whatever) chopped up turkey bits (pre-cooked white meat)

Mix the enchilada sauce, tomatoes, chicken broth, cumin, and turkey in a crock pot. Put it on low. AT some point during the day, realize that you forgot to add the half-and-half and add that. When you’re bored, crush up some tortilla chips and add them. Later on, add some more turkey and some more corn chips. (The moral here is that the amounts of turkey and chips are not exact.)

Cook all day in your crock pot on low.

Serve in bowls with extra corn chips as a garnish. I’m guessing shredded cheese would also be good on top, but I forgot to serve that. No one complained.

I imagine that you could add other veggies (most recipies call for these) and it would work out well. I also saw a recipe that recommended green enchilada sauce. That would probably be good too.

I have since made this recipe with chicken and with green enchilada sauce. It was good both ways.

So what’s this about “Bruce Tortilla Soup,” you ask?

This is Bruce. Sorry, this was Bruce:

Bruce - A "Black Sex Link" a cross between a Rhode Island Red sire and a Plymouth Rock dam.
Bruce – A “Black Sex Link” a cross between a Rhode Island Red sire and a Plymouth Rock dam.

Bruce was a beautiful rooster. He was good and protective of the flock. Actually a great bird to have around. The problem was, he has been aggressive toward us as well. He’d jumped at me a few times, and even bloodied my hand. He went after my husband and my brother-in-law. But worse than that, Bruce had gone after my son more than once. My son was so afraid of Bruce that he wouldn’t go outside if he saw the rooster. Well that’s it. We’re done.

We don’t really need a rooster, and as it happens, we actually have two. Here’s our other rooster, Rocky:

Rocky - Rhode Island Red
Rocky – Rhode Island Red

Rocky is a nice rooster. He’ll let us pet him. He’s definitely not the menace that Bruce was. Hopefully, his personality won’t change with Bruce gone.

In the meantime, we’ve got tortilla soup cooking! It’s going to be wonderful. I’ll let you know how it comes out. You’ll probably hear it first on Twitter, where I’ve been live tweeting it!

 

 

 

 

 

Swordplay: Why do I do this?

It’s Saturday night and I am lying on my bed (writing this post). My entire body aches. I’m trying to identify any major muscle groups that don’t hurt right now. Even my finger muscle hurt (in my forearms). What have I done to myself?

Today I had a sword lesson. Actually several.

 

After spending several months searching, I finally found a sword instructor willing to teach me the longsword as well as the entire discipline of the western martial arts. Such instruction is hard to find, because most current sword instruction out there is primarily in sport fencing. I’m not interested in sport fencing; I don’t want to go to the Olympics. I want to know the entirety of the western martial arts, or historical European martial arts, or the knightly arts of swordplay. This includes the longsword as well as smallsword, rapier, saber, and foil fencing. But it’s a martial art, not a game of who can touch whom more often. There’s the mentality with it, and the rigorous discipline.

I found an instructor willing to teach me the longsword, but only after teaching me the more applicable skills of classical fencing. Everything I learn about classical fencing will parlay into the smallsword, then ultimately into the longsword. But no longsword until I master fencing and the smallsword.

I’ve accepted this. I have no argument. The longsword is a very specialized weapon. Certainly not something one might ever carry on one’s hip on a day-to-day basis. Fencing teaches a sound basis for all manner of swordplay. Necessary things like balance and footwork, and more fundamentally an awareness of where your body is as well as the point of your sword.

I have been completely delighted to begin the journey into swordcraft. The only challenge is that this instructor is two hours drive away from my home. While lessons and classes are conveniently on Saturday, it is still not practical to take a lesson each week. Instead, I make the trip once or twice a month, join in two consecutive classes (one beginning, one advanced), then take a private lesson. That’s two and a half hours of fencing fun. It makes the trip worthwhile, but it makes the body very, very weary.

Why, then, do I do this? That’s a lot of driving to beat the crap out of myself. And, as I’ve noted, I’m actually not learning exactly what I set out to learn in the first place. And seriously, what good is it to learn the sword anyway? At least Karate can be used in self-defense, but it’s not like I’m going to now start strolling down the street with a sword on my belt. Right? Is this not just a waste of time and money?

The reason is simple. It’s not just because of the sword. It’s not just the romance of it, or the coolness factor. In practicing swordplay, I’m learning a lot about myself. What am I actually capable of? What can’t I do, and how can I compensate (I’m 40, I don’t bend like I used to)? I’ve learned that I have a lot more strength than I thought. I’ve tapped into that endless energy that I recall from my youth.

These are powerful things. It helps me slog through a brutal week. It gives me the strength to say ‘no.’ Or to say ‘yes’ when it needs to be said. It makes me feel like I’m in control of my body and emotions like I have never felt before. Undoubtedly, these feelings will get better.

I’m sore today. And I’ll really hurt tomorrow. But it’s totally worth it. If I could do it every week, I would. I feel good about how things are going. I feel like I’m improving and developing. It’s a wonderful way to feel when you’re middle-aged and have been thinking like it’s too late to start something new.

Totally worth it, indeed!

To sleep, perchance to dream- ay, there’s the rub.

National Blog Posting Month – January 2013 – Energy

Prompt – If you could be given the option to never sleep and also never be tired, would you take it if it meant you’d also never dream again?

—

In my current state of affairs, there is a particular appeal to never sleeping and never dreaming again. I’ve been having some bouts with insomnia of late (which I will be discussing with my doctor), so it seems that I’m inclined to not sleep anyway. And last night, I had a dream that my parents had died, which was a little jarring. Maybe dreaming isn’t such a great thing.

Add to the mix the complete overload of work that I need to be doing and the continuous, low-level state of panic that I’ve been in for the last couple of months (which might be the origin of the insomnia, you think?), and the concept of being able to function for 24 hours a day is pretty exciting!

Then again, I’ve had some fascinating dreams that have sparked some fun thought paths, some toward fictional plots and others, resolving work- or school-related problems. I do remember the time I suddenly understood the strange NMR pattern I got from a compound that I had synthesized. I remember waking and sitting bolt upright in bed. “Intermediates!” I shouted to no one. Or how about this story seed I wrote about back in November? Without sleep, I would never have had this dream.

Now, if you could offer me functionality of four hours of sleep a night, I’d probably go for that, but in truth, I think I like the down time that sleeping offers. It forces you to shut down for a while. I need that. If my mind is allowed to range for too long, my anxiety kicks in and suddenly I’m in trouble. So, no, I’ll keep my sleep and my dreams. Dreams are something to look forward to. I don’t want them taken away.

**********

Note added early AM on January 8: Last night I dreamed that I was covered with black widow spiders. I take back what I said about wanting to keep my dreams. Nevermind.

For 1-8-13

Rockin’ to the Oldies!

National Blog Posting Month – January 2013 – Energy

Prompt – What is your favourite song that gives you energy?

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A song that gives me energy… Wow. That’s a toughie.

There’s no one song that gives me an energy boost. At least not one that I can think of. I do have a playlist on my iPod called ‘SOS’ that I put on when I need some energy. I like to listen to it when I workout (if I’m not using a workout video). It’s full of songs that have a solid beat that I can sing along to. I like to listen to it when I’m driving.

In fact, last time I drove out to Wyoming (three days of driving) I had two students in the car with me and we listened to the SOS playlist the whole way. One of my students called it ‘epic playlist.’ She loved it. I took that as a compliment, given that I’m old enough to be her mother, yet am somehow hip enough to have music that a student of mine might like.

When I reflect back, there was a time in my student career when I relied entirely upon music for energy. Somewhere during the writing process of my dissertation, I developed severe acid reflux. I had heartburn for five weeks straight. It was horrible! I had to abandon caffeine completely, but I still needed to maintain some energy to get my work done. That year I listened to the same Blink 182 album (Enema of the State) on repeat hundreds if not thousands of times. It was perfect: completely raucous and energizing, but so simple as to not be distracting. It got to a point that the music would get stuck in my head and I couldn’t sleep. It was equally as effective as any amount of caffeine consumption I’ve done in the past. To this day, I’ll pop it in if I need some energy. (Strangely, though, none of those songs are in my SOS playlist! Go figure.)

For 1-7-13

Stink Bug – Chapter 1

I sat in the study, working away upon that which I hoped would be the final draft of this insane report. Honestly, I really couldn’t care less if the value was 1.01 or 1.03, but the boss cared and the boss signed the paycheck. I was lost in another computer spreadsheet; all the numbers looked the same to me. Maybe I needed to take a break.

What I really wanted was an escape. I had gotten tired of dealing with minutia. Is this what life was about? No. I didn’t think so.

What, then?

Part of me was tempted to just hit delete, and then e-mail the boss and tell him to jump off a cliff.

I knew that wasn’t really an option, so I took a breath and kept plugging away.

As I typed, I noticed a bug buzzing around the room. I was curious, because in January, when there’s two feet of snow on the ground, I don’t expect to see bugs. It wasn’t a constant buzz, but when it flew, I knew about it. It was like a little tank flying around my head. In the quiet moments between its flights, I continued to work.

Technical reports are dull to write, and this one was no exception. Luckily, I was able to cut and paste stock text from older reports, so I didn’t have to rewrite everything. I hit paste and watched the text appear in my report. It was the wrong text. “Dammit,” I cursed, and went to press the escape key. Something brushed my finger as I did so.

There it was. An enormous stink bug on my keyboard, sitting right there on top of the escape key.

This stink bug was blocking my escape!
This stink bug was blocking my escape!

The stink bug was blocking my escape. I laughed. Maybe this is a metaphor for my life.

I blew at it. It remained fixed. I lifted the keyboard and tapped it, hoping the bug would fall off, but it held fast. I poked at the bug with a pencil. Nothing changed. No matter what I did, the bug was unmoved.

The stink bug was blocking my escape.

The damn stink bug.

Stink bug.

If this was a metaphor for my life, this bug was my boss. Or at least this lame-o report.

I shook the keyboard violently. “Get off, you bastard!”

It waved its antennae and stuck its proboscis toward me, as if it were sticking out its tongue.

I grabbed a reference book – an enormous collection of data tables. It was huge and satisfyingly heavy. I held it up and giggled. Then I smashed it down upon the bug on the keyboard.

The stench was amazing. I was slammed back into my chair by it. My eyes began to water and the scene about me blurred. The images on the computer screen began to distort. I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face.

It occurred to me that everything was eerily quiet. I looked around. The lights flickered, then went out. The open files on my computer screen suddenly poured out of the monitor and onto my desk. Then the monitor melted, and vanished.

I was hit by a gust of wind, as the reference book suddenly exploded off the keyboard. The keyboard and book evaporated into the air. Suddenly, I realized I was alone, floating in the air, hovering somehow. Yet there was no ground. No up, no down. I was surrounded by a glowing gray fog.

I looked up. The bug was there looking at me waving its antennae. And it laughed.

—

Make suggestions in the comments about where this story should go…

—

Read Chapter 2

Read Chapter 3

Read Chapter 4

Read Chapter 5

Welcome to 2013

It’s a new year. 2013 is all of five days old. And I’m exhausted already. But it’s a new year. A completely arbitrary starting point, of course, but an opportunity to ‘start afresh.’ What do I want to do with this year?

Frankly, I haven’t had any chance to think about what I want to do with this new year because the old year just won’t let go! The end of the fall semester always means playing catch-up with all the things that I put off doing because I was busy teaching. I look at my to-do list and it makes me want to cry. But what can I do?

Well, it’s time to put up or shut up. There are things I want to accomplish this year and there are things I have to accomplish this year. Right now, the have-to-dos out-weigh the want-to-dos, but I’m making a point of continuing to slog forward on the want-to-do list. Luckily, with want-to-dos, I’m willing to work on them at funny hours, because I want to do them.

Have-to-dos get done at work. I have to get the elemental analyzer running properly (that’ll be Monday’s task). I have to catalog some fossils (to do on Wednesday). I need to grind up some teeth and fish scales (not sure when I’ll do that, but I will). Oh, there’s data to normalize. I can do that remotely from home. That might wait until someone prompts me. Class preparation: Sadly, that will likely wait until classes start. I just don’t have time to think about it right now. And there’s a couple of papers to review here. That won’t be too bad. Oh, and those every-Tuesday for the next nine weeks talks. Yeah, I need to get on that! I have five of them mostly ready now. I’m in good shape.

Now for the want-to-dos: Finish the rewrite on my novel “Prince of Herongarde.” I can do that, if I can just shake this migraine. Blog every day. Yeah. That’s what you’re reading. Progress as a swordsman (or should it be swordswoman?). Getting there. I’ve had health problems of late, but I’m not going backwards. That’s good. Do some more sewing. I have been offered a couple of challenges. I like challenges. I’ll get ‘er done, but maybe not this month.

Naw, I’ll get to it. I’ll get to it all. I just have to accept that January will be the month of the have-to-dos and postpone many of the want-to-dos for later in the year. I have to remind myself not to get frustrated and surround myself with people who will encourage me when I get down on myself. I think I’m ready. Are you?

Siesta

National Blog Posting Month – January 2013 – Energy

Prompt – At what time of day do you feel the most energetic and productive?

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At different times of day I’m productive in different ways. It’s hard to pinpoint any single time of day when I’m most energetic and productive. I do, however, know when I am least productive.

The doldrums hit me around 2pm every day and I’m a slug until around 5 or 6. I know myself well enough to know that unless there is a seriously urgent deadline, there is little point in fighting the afternoon drags. Instead, I strap on my exercise shoes and mindlessly workout for thirty minutes to an hour. And once I’m done and showered, I start on the evening chores. By the time everything’s done and all members of the household are fed, I’m back to being constructive and energized and I get on with whatever brain-intensive tasks need doing.

It makes for me keeping strange work hours, but everyone seems to be OK with it. I come into the office in the morning and do whatever lab things need to be done until my energy starts to wane, then I leave, usually around 2. I make up the lost hours in the evening at home when my brain returns to normal function.

I get away with this because I’m on salary and I need only present results to justify my employment. I feel fortunate because of this. I only have to work during my optimal times. I’ve had jobs where I had to grunt my way through the less-optimum hours of the day. I know what it’s like and I can do it. I’m glad I don’t have to.

For 1-4-13

Energy through Exercise

National Blog Posting Month – January 2013 – Energy

Prompt – What is your favourite way to recharge when you feel drained of energy?

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I’m drained. I just want to go to bed. My head is heavy. Everything is overwhelming. What do I do?

I could eat a bag of potato chips (which sounds fabulous right now, by the way!). Or, I could drink a soda or a cup of coffee (which I’ve been known to do). But if I really want to get myself back on my feet to get some work done, I have to get on my feet!

I take a deep breath. I change my clothes. I pop in a workout DVD. And I exercise. Some days it’s just a 20 minute workout. Other days I challenge myself to a 50 minute workout. Sometimes, I’ll opt to go for a run or hop on the elliptical for a while. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. Exercise is what I need, most of the time. And usually, it’s enough of a kick to get me back into high-productivity mode.

The only time this doesn’t work is if I’m in energy-saving mode due to illness. Then exercise knocks me out. This is how I usually find out that I’m sick, not just exhausted. Recently, that’s been the case. I’ll have a good workout, then I’m in bed for an hour. Nevertheless, I do feel better for working out than I would have had I just had some ice cream and watched more TV.

Exercise is the key to my energy. I exercise nearly every day. It’s part of my daily routine. It’s what I do.

 

What do you do to recharge?

 

For 1-3-2013

Energy Sapping

National Blog Posting Month – January 2013 – Energy

Prompt – Which daily tasks take up the most of your energy?

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Where does most of my energy go on a given day? Can I narrow it down to just one thing?

The daily chores just sap my energy, especially in the winter time. They’re endless: Water and Feed the chickens morning and night. Take care of the cats. Make lunch. The dishes. Move snow. Stoke fire. Bring in firewood. Feed the boy. Feed myself. It takes maybe an hour to two hours every day just to stay on top of these things, and at the end of a long work day, it’s not what I want to do.

In the summer it’s not as bad. The chickens are able to forage and their water doesn’t freeze, so I can deal with them once a day. We don’t have a fire, so I needn’t worry about that. And with all the extra daylight, I don’t have to do any of these things immediately upon entering the house every day after work.

So maybe it’s partly the chores and maybe it’s partly the lack of daylight. I sleep when it’s dark. When I was in the high Arctic with 24 hours of sunlight, I was full of energy. Winter time down south – I got nothing.

All right. Another month or so and daylight will be getting reasonable, even if it still is cold. That’s ok. I can handle it. Right?