Not Anxious, For a Change?

National Blog Posting Month – September 2014 – Crunch

Prompt – Autumn reminds us that everything changes. What do you wish you could change in your life right now?

——

Today’s post is timely.

Yesterday, I had a relatively relaxing day. Or at least it seemed that way until evening set in. Then I was blasted with anxiety.

Stupid anxiety. Annoying anxiety.

It started after a poor night’s sleep. Then I didn’t get my morning workout in. This was followed up by not having a potluck dish ready to go for a knitting group that I sometimes connect with. (I don’t knit, but they let me come and sew and chat.)

My lack of exercise was coupled with too much coffee and not enough food throughout the day. As a drove back home, anxiety struck me hard.

It’s hard, because you can’t really put a finger on a specific thing that causing the anxiety. I knew I needed to exercise. I knew there were a few personal tasks I’d planned to do that day that weren’t yet complete.

Familiar frustration set in, and I started to think about how different my life would be if I didn’t deal with anxiety.

How great would it be to go to a sword lesson and not get nailed with a wave of terror every time we had to do paired drills. It struck me that there are tons of things that I would like to do – not least of which is pursue more sword lessons – that anxiety keeps me from doing.

I have a hard time getting a sitter for my son so that my husband and I can have a peaceful evening out. Geez, I can’t even cope with driving my son to his friend’s house so he can play for a while.

Sometimes, getting up and going to the grocery store to get that snack I want is too much.

Lately, my anxiety level has been very high. I’m doing thing to mitigate this, with the support of medical professionals and my family.

Yet, I got home yesterday and just wanted to be invisible.

Oh, if only the anxiety would go away…

Published by paleololigo

Scientist (Paleontology, Geochemistry, Geology); Writer (Speculative and Science Fiction, plus technical and non-technical Science); Mom to great boy on the Autism spectrum; possessor of too many hobbies.

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