This is a rant. Though it is a rant that I suspect many women in the sciences can relate to.
I teach at a university. I have a Ph.D. My title, then, is properly “Dr. Higgins.” I am not a professor, not adjunct, not tenure-track, so technically I shouldn’t be called “Professor Higgins,” but it happens and I let it go.
Dr. Higgins always sounded a little ivory-tower-ish to me, and frankly, Dr. Higgins is my uncle, and he has no hair. Neither one of those images really suits me well. So, I encourage my students to call me Penny, because, well, that’s my name. I don’t forbid them from calling me Dr. Higgins, nor do I forbid them from calling me ‘professor,’ despite the fact that I don’t hold that title. But I explain to them that I’m simply more likely to respond positively if they call me by my first name.
I give them the option, if using my first name feels too informal to them, that they can call me Dr. Penny. It’s the name I respond to plus my proper title. I’m getting to kind of like being called Dr. Penny. It works for me and for most of my students.
Inevitably at some point in the semester, someone sends me an e-mail, and the salutation is to Mrs. Higgins. Well, all right, I am married, so technically I am Mrs. Higgins. And that’s fine if I’m dealing with the phone company or my son’s teachers. Whatever.
But when “Mrs. Higgins” comes from my students – or anyone involved with academia for that matter – it really, really offends me. And here’s why:
When you call me Mrs. (or Miss or Ms.) rather than Dr., what you’re saying is that what matters most to you about me is my marital status. Credentials be damned, you’re a married woman. Those years I spent in college, then graduate school, then working as a postdoc don’t matter nearly so much as the fact that I’m married.
When you call me Mrs. (or Miss or Ms.) rather than Penny, what you’re saying is that I’m not a valuable individual. What’s important to you about me is the man that my gave me my surname, traditionally, my husband or my father. To you, that person is the important individual, and me, I’m just in the shadows.
Well, I’ve worked hard to develop my own identity. I am not my father’s nor my husband’s shadow, though I respect them both deeply. I’ve worked too darn hard to be labeled by my marital status.
Now, I realize that many – perhaps even most – people who call me Mrs. Higgins mean nothing but respect by it. They’re being polite. Maybe it’s political correctness. You might say I’m overly sensitive. Maybe I should cut them some slack (and I do, especially if they’re foreign exchange students).
But seriously, if you send an e-mail to a male instructor at a university, you’re going to hedge your bets and call them Dr., because they probably are. Why not afford the same respect to female instructors?
I’m not going to track down and scold students if they should call me Mrs. instead of Dr. It’s not worth it. I know it’s most likely innocent, or at least unintentional. But I’m still going to be upset.
And now you know. I feel better. Thanks.
Penny Higgins - Storyteller • Artist • Scientist 
Stopping by from the UBC and I totally see your point for the rant.
It’s a shame that society still identifies women as either single or married and as you’ve pointed out – that they also often aren’t given the courtesy of their professional title of Dr if they happen to be PHD graduates (unless they actually work in a hospital it’s clear that they are the doctor and not a nurse)
I find that my blogging rants always make me feel better; makes more sense to vent it out in blogosphere than keep it in head or waste my breath explaining my position to people who probably won’t even understand where I’m coming from.
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Thanks! I always feel bad about getting bent out of shape by something that might seem trivial to others. It’s nice to know I’m not alone..
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Everyone is either single or married, not just women. And, it hasn’t been a given that married women are called “Mrs.” for decades, except when they choose to be, such as in elementary school, where most married teachers seem to prefer to be called Mrs.
Also, regarding being called doctor, most all of my professors had PhD’s but we never bothered to try to remember which ones did or didn’t have them. So, we called everyone professor. And, they were all fine with it, except for an insecure few who would stop us in mid-question, reminding us to refer to them as doctor, not just professor.
All that did was give us all the clear impression that they 1) had low self-esteem and needed to pump it up by being called doctor; 2) it was a far mightier struggle for them to get their PhD than the other professors.
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I have seen male Ph.D.s get bent out of shape for being called Mr. instead of professor or doctor, so I don’t think that’s just a woman thing.
If students want to call me professor, I let them. I explain on the first day of class that I don’t hold that title as a point to help them understand life in academia. I still prefer to to be called Penny, because that’s who I am. I don’t ask that students call me Dr. unless they insist on using a title.
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It’s definitely not a woman thing. Man or woman, it’s an insecure thing, in my opinion.
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Interesting rant. I feel somewhat the same.. I am a trained Executive Chef, worked very hard getting there. Then someone I met tells me that they are a chef also. I ask them where they work and they tell me “At McDonalds” or “Burger King”. They bypassed school and on the job training and went directly from high school to being “A Chef”. I should not let that bother me. However, there are many cook positions that you must know and understand before becoming a chef.
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There’s definitely a huge difference between the colloquial ‘chef’ (lower case c) and the title of ‘Chef’ (with a capital c). I’ve cooked fast food before (in a distant, painful past life). I would never call myself a chef. (Besides, I mostly burn things. That’s why I try to stick to rocks.)
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Thanks for the explanation of “Professor” vs “Dr.”. Something I never knew!
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I never understood the difference either, until I took my current job. Doctor is a title one earns by training. Professor is a job title. My job title is ‘Research Associate,’ so it’s not correct to call me Professor, even though I have all the same credentials and training as my Professor colleagues.
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Hi Dr. Penny:
I never thought about the form of address to a Ph.d. I can understand your point, though, when you think it is a form of disrespect. I don’t think many of the people who have had little to do with academia think anything of the time and effort and expense you put into getting your degree. If your students, especially freshman class, call you Mrs. Higgins, they weren’t properly taught how to address people. I doubt if it is taught in any school at the present time. So little is taught in public schools anymore.
The only people I know at the university level are my cousin Doug, 3 of my children, and 3 of my grandchildren. I will ask them about this.
Thanks for informing me.
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To be honest, I refer to all mine Ms & Mr unless they instruct me otherwise. I have never even thought it would be rude to refer to them other their their degree titles. I have only had a few professors who had a PhD, but now at least I will remember to refer to them by it.
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I have never even thought it would be rude to refer to them other their their degree titles. **
I never even thought it was rude to just call a professor “ms. or mr.”, didn’t think about that I should call them by Dr**
Is what i was trying to say with that.
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I think it’s a complicated social problem. My being annoyed won’t change much.
If you’re at a school where most of the faculty don’t have Ph.D.’s then it’s probably fine. But if you’re a student at a top-ranked research institution (my employer has been called one of the “New Ivies”, of the same caliber as other Ivy League schools), it’s a safe bet that very few of your instructors don’t have a Ph.D.
In general, I don’t care that much, but I notice. And I wish I didn’t.
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I never knew that my PhD instructors weren’t professors. Only one of them made a point to correct every student every single time. Most didn’t seem to care.
Do they never call you Ms. Higgins or Miss Higgins? They should be equally offensive.
If they call you Miss Higgins, it would be an acknowledgement that you are a single woman, rather than your credentials.
If they called you Ms. Higgins, it would be an acknowledgement that you are a woman, whether married or single, rather than your credentials.
If you were a man and they called you Mr. it would also be ignoring your credentials in favor of your gender.
If you spend that much time and effort in education, I can understand why you would want to be called Dr. That sounds like the real issue here. Putting on my psychology hat, it sounds like you really do want to be referred to as Dr. but don’t want to feel old like your uncle.
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Sometimes I do get Ms. or Miss. It does annoy me.
There’s not wanting to feel old, like my Uncle, for sure.
I also suspect there’s a fair amount of imposter syndrome too. I still marvel at how, somehow, I’ve managed to get a Ph.D. when I’m not always convinced that I deserve it.
As I get older, and more removed from graduate school, that sense of not deserving it has waned – at least a bit.
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I constantly get a triple whammy at work: I’m forever being called Ms Maiden Name despite my PhD and my repeated requests to be called by my married name. Every time people override my self-determination and call me Ms Maiden Name, they’re implying that a) I couldn’t possibly have a PhD, b) I couldn’t possibly be married, and c) their authority to decide my identity (against my will) is greater than my authority to determine my own identity.
This is compounded by the fact that I work for the Italian government. In Italy, it is customary to use ‘Dr’ for anyone who has even just one degree (like a BA or something). My colleagues (all male) who don’t have PhDs are automatically called Dr; I, who have three degrees, am addressed as Ms, which implies that not only did I not spend years doing that very dangerous original research and then transforming it into a most ponderous brick, but I didn’t go to university. Ever. At all. Not even once.
This usage is rendered even more irksome when followed by ‘get me a coffee’.
I’m in two minds as to whether I prefer Mrs or Dr Married Name, and I also realise that it’s awfully antiquated of me (from one point of view) to be proud of my married name or my status as Mrs. The point, however, is one of self-determination. Given that I inhabit my own body, who can own me other than myself? If I belong to myself, then how come some other person, who doesn’t inhabit my body, gets authority over themselves *and* me, while I get authority over nobody? We have one person each, and this one is mine, and I’ll sodding well decide what it’s going to be called.
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I hear you. Maybe that’s what upsets me the most, not being able to choose how I’m called, and then having people default to something less respectful than what they call my male colleagues. Ugh.
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Hello Dr. Penny!
This post was absolutely wonderful. I hold no professional titles, but I still feel that I can empathise with what you are saying here.
I was born “Miss Leah Allan” daughter of “Mr. & Mrs. D Allan.” Even as a four year old, I never understood why it had to be his name, simply because he was a man, and why Miss became Mrs. and his identity did nothing. He tried to tell me that the last name was a gift, but tried to change the subject when I asked why that gift had to come at the expense of something she already possessed [a surname]. While it’s true, due to tradition, names are from the father at some point, I decided I had to start somewhere.
when I was 15 I refused the title Miss. and started using Ms. When I turned 19, I took my mother’s very Danish maiden name, and kept it after I married the very supportive and understanding Mr. W. Bennett. Our return address labels say “Christensen & Bennett” because W felt that after being the common denominator in THREE different iterations of “Mr & Mrs. W Bennett” it was about frickin’ time for a change, and as a “Miss,” and the youngest “Miss” in the family (no brothers), it was high time my identity got out there!!!! Of course “Christensen & Bennett” does not put me out there at his expense. He’s right there with me.
Every woman dealing with the identity issue copes with it in her own way, and for me “Ms. Leah Christensen” worked well. Ms = “my marital status is none of your business!” Leah = the name my now divorced parents chose TOGETHER when they created me TOGETHER so it equally represents both of them, Christensen = casting off at least one layer of patriarchal tradition, while reclaiming a piece of the Danish identity that was stolen from me by my parents decision not to teach me the language in Canada because, to paraphrase my Dad “the kids don’t need it! They’re CANADIAN!”
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Thank you for writing this! I am currently teaching and performing in Ecuador with my husband (who is working on, but hasn’t completed his doctorate). I have my doctorate, but they have MANY times said “Dr. xxxx and Mrs. xxx” and it irks me to no end that he automatically gets the title that I worked my butt off for, and I am nothing but a lowly woman.
Good to know I’m not the only one irked by this!!! I worked for it, darnit, and you will call me Dr.!!!
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I hate this too, called Miss by ones not much younger than me, its actually disrespectful as I dont like it, so acually it’s being disrespectful to want I want, its not as if my name is that hard to pronounce
Also makes me feel like a single spinny
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