Movies – Page 3 – Penny Higgins – Storyteller • Artist • Scientist

SVP – Scenes written screenplay style

Because I’m weird like that, I decided to write up some bits of the 2012 annual meeting of the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology in a screenplay format.

This would never make a good movie or TV show and here’s why: NO CONFLICT! There’s over 1000 of us there, and we’re all so happy to be there that there is no conflict. Nothing happens! Everyone is happy.

So, it’s a lousy script, but it highlights some of the things that go on at these meetings, in its own special bizarre way…

Some names have been changed to protect the innocent, and things are written mostly how I remember them, which might not be reality. If you think I might be talking about you, well, I might be!

Also, please forgive the formatting errors. They’re there. I couldn’t make it work right. Poo.

By the way, these things really did happen. …mostly.

—–

#2012SVP: The movie

EXT. MAJOR HOTEL – NIGHT

PENNY HIGGINS, middle-aged paleontologist exits an airport shuttle bus. She gathers her belongings, pays the driver and enters the hotel.

INT. MAJOR HOTEL – CONTINUOUS

Penny passes through sliding glass doors and is met by the din of loud discussion. She looks toward the bar and sees a crowd within, the source of the noise. She smiles and nods. She knows the sounds of paleontologists.

PENNY
(to herself)
Paleontology. How I love thee!

INT. DARKENED CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Penny is checking Twitter on her phone. A tweet from the host society shows up “Beware the flatulent chairs. Sit carefully.”

Penny raises slightly from her seat and sits back down hard. The chair toots. Penny eyes the person sitting beside her. He’s looking back, eyes wide.

PENNY
Oops! Excuse me!

The man smiles and returns his attention to the speaker.

Another person enters the room and sits in front of Penny, causing his chair to emit a loud farting noise. Penny struggles to contain her laughter and quickly re-tweets the earlier tweeted warning.

INT. CONVENTION CENTER – POSTERS – DAY

The room is arranged with several rows of posters, presenting scientific results. Between the rows are packed hundreds of paleontologists, discussing the posters among themselves and with the authors. The room is a cacophony of voices. Nearly everyone has a drink.

DAN
So tell me your story here.

PENNY
(points to poster)
Well, our data seem to show that this takes about one year. But I’m told you’ve already done this.

DAN
Yes.
(grins sheepishly)
We got our data ten years ago. We just haven’t published it yet.

PENNY
Well, you need to publish it! Your data sound better than mine. And your results make better sense.

DAN
We’ll get to it.

PENNY
I’m gonna e-mail you every week until it’s published

DAN
Maybe you should.

Dan moves on. One of Penny’s friends approaches.

JUDY
How goes it?

PENNY
Yeah. This work’s been done already.

JUDY
What happened?

PENNY
This is what happens when people don’t publish.

JUDY
That stinks.

PENNY
At least it wasn’t an oral presentation – or worse: a rejection from a journal. We move on.

Judy pats Penny on the shoulder.

JUDY
It happens.

INT. DARKENED CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

A video is playing of a Hyena eating a big chunk of meat and bone. Penny furiously tweets what she is seeing. Numerous other tweets scroll past, highlighting the same thing, each containing the phrases “bone cracking” “hyena” and “pig neck”. Penny grins, relishing the morbidity of her paleontological colleagues.

Someone sits down near Penny, causing the chair to fart. Restraining laughter, Penny heads out to find coffee.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

A silent auction is being set out. Items are spread out over several tables throughout the room. People are running around sorting items and arranging them in an appealing way.

Penny enters lugging a hefty wooden rocking-dinosaur.

PENNY
Yup. This is it. You’re going to a new home.

Penny looks around and finds who she’s looking for.

PENNY
Brent!
(indicates the dinosaur)
Silent or live?

BRENT
Live.

Penny hoists the dinosaur onto a table in front of the stage, where the live auction will take place later in the day.

INT. MEETING ROOM – EVENING

Six people stand around, four of whom are dressed as characters from the movie and comics “The Avengers.”

Penny walks out of a back room in a white and black pleather body suit.

PENNY
I’m gonna cook in this thing!

BECCA
Now, who are you?

PENNY
Mockingbird. From the comics.

Penny dons her long, platinum blonde wig and adjusts it on her head.

BECCA
Do you have an extra hair tie?

PENNY
(laughs)
I only have long hair when I’m wearing a wig!

BECCA
(laughs)
Oh! Oops!

There’s a knock at the door. Thor and Loki have arrived. Tony Stark leaves to set the stage for the entrance of the Avengers.

Becca’s phone bings.

BECCA
It’s time.

THOR
Let’s go.

INT. HOTEL BAR – NIGHT

The Avengers (paleontologists in costume) enter the bar to hoots and congratulations from the other paleontologists there.

Thor, Loki, and Penny approach the bar to get a drink.

THOR
Whatever you want. My treat.

A woman and her husband are seated nearby and are delighted to see the three costumed paleontologists standing there.

WOMAN
Oh, please! Let us buy! We’re so happy to meet you!

The husband nods and turns away, disinterested. The woman continues to gush.

WOMAN
I’m so glad to have met real paleontologists! Y’know, on our beach I’ve found some really interesting fossils!

Loki and Penny look knowingly at each other. Thor moves off into another conversation.

WOMAN
I’ve seen fossils of a baby bird being born.

Penny and Loki feign interest. There is little doubt in either one of their heads that what the woman has seen is not a bird being born.

LOKI
We’re glad you got to meet us. We’re pretty tired, though. We just did a big auction and we’re winding down.

WOMAN
Oh sure! Oh sure! I understand! I just think it’s great that you’re here. It’s like a sign or something!

LOKI
Well thank you for the drinks!

WOMAN
Sure! I hope we can talk more!

Loki and Penny roll their eyes at each other, then join Thor in his conversation.

INT. DARKENED CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Penny looks at her phone, checking the conference twitterfeed. A tweet pops up promising a blooper reel at the end of a talk. Penny is intrigued, and leaves quietly.

INT. DARKENED CONFERENCE ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Penny takes a seat in another conference room (though it looks identical to the one she just left). She settles in, phone in hand, ready to be wowed.

The presentation begins.

SPEAKER
It’s hard to motivate an alligator to run.

The audience laughs. Soon videos are being shown of alligators and crocodiles running in a Plexiglas chute.

Penny looks at the twitterfeed. Multiple people are tweeting about this presentation. Penny smiles.

SPEAKER
And, as promised, the blooper reel.

On the screen are shown video clips of the alligators and crocodiles escaping from the chute and lunging at the camera. The audience laughs. Tweets fly.

INT. BANQUET ROOM – EVENING

Several hundred paleontolgists are gathered for a catered meal and a short awards ceremony. The meal has been eaten and the few remaining plates have been removed. Attention turns to the President of the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology. She announces several award winners. As the evening continues, the awards become more significant.

PRESIDENT
The Colbert Student poster prize goes to Stephanie Crofts.

People rise to give a standing ovation. As all sit down, a series of toots and tweets are heard.

PRESIDENT
And the Romer Prize for student research goes to Jack Tseng!

The crowd rises again, clapping and shouting. With sitting, the chorus of toots and farting noises is louder. There is audible chuckling. Penny looks at her twitterfeed. A new hashtag has arisen: #squeakyseat

PRESIDENT
And the Romer-Simpson Medal goes to Philip Gingerich!

The crowd rises once more, delighted for their long-time colleague. The tooting and farting sounds as people sit are very loud this time. Clearly people are intentionally sitting hard to make the noise louder. Penny is laughing so hard, tears are coming from her eyes.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY – MORNING

Penny walks away from the front desk. She pauses, looking back.

PENNY
(to no one)
Next year. L.A. See you soon.

Herongarde – The Pitch

I’m experimenting with a pitch for my novel/screenplay. And it’s a short synopsis of the story. Would you be interested in this story?

—–

Herongarde

Medieval speculative fiction; Drama

Trey of Herongarde is a disenchanted Prince. His world has been dark to him since the loss of his beloved wife and son in childbirth ten years earlier. It grew still darker when, soon after, his elder brother – the heir to the throne – was killed. For years, Lord Trey has moved through life, disinterested in everything except for a good duel at tournament and the unconscious hope for his own death. Though heir to the throne of Herongarde, Trey has done all possible to avoid the politics of the realm, preferring to ride wide and dangerous patrols. He refuses to be addressed as royalty. He wishes only to be acknowledged as a warrior and a Bearer of the sovereign Mark of Herongarde.

On his patrols, Lord Trey has become increasingly convinced that the neighboring nation of Falgarth intends to make war upon Herongarde. Alas, his pleas to the King (his father) for caution are not taken seriously. Trey has only been able to provide circumstantial evidence that Falgarth means to attack, and in light of Trey’s increasing agitation, all the nobles of Herongarde fear that Trey is on the brink of madness. Trey is correct however, and the story opens as Trey rides on the patrol which finally provides proof of the imminent danger to Herongarde. And it nearly costs him is life.

Hanna Tisdale is a tenured academic in a functional, but dull, marriage, facing mid-life with a sense of apathy. Due to a fluke of relativistic physics, a thunderstorm, and a poorly-timed cell phone call, she finds herself wrenched from her comfortable New England life and plopped into the middle of the brewing war between Herongarde and Falgarth. Unaware of this war, and mostly certain that she is merely dreaming, Hanna boldly rescues Trey from certain death and returns him safely to Herongarde Castle. War begins, and an unlikely bond forms between Hanna and Trey, one that saves a nation and heals the broken heart of a weary Prince.

It is not a smooth path. While the nobles and armies of Herongarde are away at war, Trey is left behind at Herongarde Castle, the seat of the nation’s government, to attend to the prosperity of his country. Trey must also recover from the physical injuries that nearly killed him (and that ignited this war), and in doing so must put faith in a woman he barely knows. This trust his hard-won. He has despised women since the loss of his love. Hanna earns his trust in an unexpected sword battle with men of Falgarth that have infiltrated deeply into the lands of Herongarde. This small attack is the harbinger of a much larger plan to occupy Herongarde Castle, and destroy the nation from within.

Though there was some warning about the assault on Herongarde Castle, with the armies away, the defense of the castle goes poorly. Trey does not have the mind for strategy as other lords of Herongarde and makes crucial errors, ultimately finding himself staring down the business end of a longsword. At that moment, he discovers that he loves Hanna, but he is certain that she has fallen in battle. Hanna is clever, however, and is able to once again protect Trey from a gruesome fate.

As they sit later, hidden in a culvert, battle raging about them, Trey professes his love. Hanna accepts his affection, but only if he faces the reality of his fate. He is heir to the throne of Herongarde, and that throne is on the brink of destruction. Though all seems hopeless, Trey agrees and they plunge again into the fury. Herongarde survives when a small force from Herongarde arrives from the battle front and repels the enemy.

Herongarde will live for another day. Its Prince has once again found his heart – and love – and is willing to proudly lead his nation. But when the war ends, Trey must face the reality that his relationship with Hanna is forbidden by the Codes of Herongarde, and that the King will never approve of their courtship. He is torn between his country and his love, ultimately respecting Hanna’s earlier wishes and standing with his nation. The day before Hanna is to be sent away, she finds herself challenged at tournament. She is battered by some of the finest warriors of Herongarde, but keeps her feet under her. Though she is defeated in the end, it gives the King and the other nobles pause for thought. Maybe she was worthy of the Prince after all?

Geology in the Movies: John Carter, Shiprock, and Geo-Farts

Sometimes in movies, the scenery is so fantastical that it clearly must be something spawned from the imagination of an artist. One thing I love about being a geologist is the knowledge that some of these places really do exist. Sometimes they’re as fantastic as they appear to be in the movies, and sometimes, it’s all about clever shooting angles. Either way, it’s always a great opportunity to introduce people to some of the geologic wonders of our world.

John Carter (from Mars)

A lot of the movie John Carter was shot in the deserts of the southwestern United States. This is the place where I learned geology, so I smiled a lot through the film as I recognized several of the vistas. Every time I recognized a place, my brain instantly pulled up the old files on the geologic history of that place.

One such place, Shiprock (which only makes a momentary appearance), gave me an audible chuckle. My introduction to Shiprock as a student was one of the things that solidified in my mind that to be a geologist was what I wanted to do.

Now, when I was an undergraduate, Shiprock actually appeared in almost every single geology textbook (and it still does, really). It was almost always described as a ‘volcanic neck’ or ‘volcanic plug,’ or that which remains after most of a volcano has eroded away, leaving only the core of the volcano behind. This was supposed to be the original channel through which the magma flowed prior to erupting at the earth’s surface.

Well, one of my professors wanted to set that straight. Clearly those idiots writing the textbooks had never actually visited the place. Shiprock is no volcanic neck, he announced. It was better described as a ‘geo-fart.’ Well, this made an impression on me and my classmates, and to this day, I can’t look at a photo of Shiprock without thinking about geo-farts and giggling a little bit.

It is actually a rather apt description to call it a geo-fart. The technical term is ‘diatreme,’ which is a ‘breccia-filled volcanic pipe that was formed by a gaseous explosion.’ Well that’s a mouth full. In regular English, that means that there was a big gaseous eruption – explosive or fart-like, if you will – where lots of angular bits of rock were shot out of a pipe-like structure in the Earth. Rocks fell back in. Things were hot. Some rocks were melted. The end result is this structure, like a volcanic neck, but that is full of jumbled up bits of formerly molten rocks and other bits and pieces all stuck together. (The word ‘breccia’ [pronounced brech-a] refers to a rock composed of angular bits of other rocks all jumbled and fused together.) When the exploding is done, all the softer rock surrounding the newly filled pipe-like structure erodes away, leaving a huge rock that looks a little like a Spanish galleon.

Shiprock, New Mexico. Photo by Bowiesnodgrass

So it must have been a pretty exciting day when Shiprock formed, though it certainly didn’t look much like it does today. It’s really no surprise that something like a geo-fart occurred in the Southwest. There’s volcanic activity everywhere, a lot of which involved lots of gaseous urping and the tossing in the air of lava bits. That’s how all those cinder cones out there formed. (As an aside, one such cinder cone is called SP Crater. Google it and have a chuckle with me!)

OK, but what about those ‘walls’ coming off of Shiprock? Those are real and they formed at or around the same time that Shiprock itself formed. In geology, we have a term for these. We call them dikes (or dykes, depending upon which side of the Atlantic you live on). Dikes are basically walls of volcanic material cut through existing rock layers. You can imagine that while the pipe that later became Shiprock was busy blowing up, that there would be some cracks extending from it. These cracks filled up with volcanic material, forming the dikes. Since the dikes (and volcanic material in general) are more difficult to erode than the softer sandstones that they cut through, they wind up standing like walls and towers after some erosion has taken place. Later, these walls make a great backdrop for a great movie!

OK, so there it is, the first installment of “Geology in the Movies.” Next time you’re watching John Carter, I hope you giggle when Shiprock appears, just as I did. And when the person next to you asks what’s so funny, you can tell them that you just saw a geo-fart.

John Carter – An Incredible Success

The truth is, I’m not a movie aficionado. In fact, I don’t watch movies that often at all. It’s not because I don’t enjoy watching movies, but rather that I’m usually busy trying to keep my life in order. I use up my time among keeping my job, raising my autistic son, and trying to carve out a little ‘me’ time to exercise and occasionally get some sleep.

With that, you should understand that it is a big deal when I decide that there is a movie out there worth seeing that I’m actually willing to pay to see at the theater. It’s an even bigger deal when I decide that the whole family should come. It’s a big event in our household.

I had seen a few previews of John Carter and decided that it was a movie I wanted to see in the theater and that it was a movie that the whole family would enjoy. So we made our plans and off we went.

We did all enjoy the movie. It was excellent. Sure, it’s not Schindler’s List, but it was a really great romp on a foreign planet based upon a classic book. It wasn’t the same-old fare – a replicate of Avatar, or whatever. It certainly wasn’t a flop like Water World. It didn’t follow the usual formula. It kept me guessing and wondering where the plot was going to go. I was engaged.

The things I particularly enjoyed include:

1) The four-armed critters were actually pretty convincing. As a vertebrate paleontologist, I’m always disappointed when the alien species depicted really couldn’t function.

2) The characters seemed genuine, especially John Carter himself. I could totally get why he was so jaded with life.

3) It didn’t feel like a totally CG movie, though I realize that there was a lot of CG in it. Oftentimes, I find too much CG a great distraction, but I wasn’t troubled by it in John Carter. Was it because the technology has improved? Maybe. Equally likely, the movie was conceived in such a way that it’s success wasn’t entirely dependent upon CG. The new Star Wars movies overused CG so much that I can barely watch them.

4) The landscapes and backdrops were home to me. This is a double-edged sword, of course, since I recognized some of the vistas as places I have been. But, seriously, Shiprock is awesome, and the perfect place to stand in as Mars. It was in the Southwest where I learned my trade (geology and paleontology), and love to see my old stomping grounds.

5) And naturally, James Purefoy, who is one of my favorite actors to watch and who seems to have stolen every scene he was in. (Sigh.)

When I heard that John Carter is being described as the “Biggest Flop Ever,” I was dismayed. It’s a perfectly good movie. How could it flop? The fact of it is that Disney seems to have not bothered to advertise the movie in the US. When I think about it, the only reason why I knew about it was that I enjoy cyber-stalking Mr. Purefoy (I’m an adult, I can do that) and I found out about the movie from one of his fan websites. My husband, who watches considerably more television than I do, knew absolutely nothing about the movie. He hadn’t even heard of it. What’s up with that, Disney?

I’m disappointed – seriously – because there’s one other reason why I really liked John Carter.

WHY I LOVE JOHN CARTER:

I mentioned my autistic son earlier. He’s not horribly autistic, some would call him ‘high functioning.’ In the medical parlance, his diagnosis is PDD-NOS, which puts him on the autism spectrum, but not the type of autistic that you might have seen in Rain Man. Nevertheless, to get the boy to a theater and get him to sit through a movie is difficult. It’s something new, something different, so he fights. He could start peeping and acting out during the film. As we were going into the theater he was screaming about how he didn’t want to go and that he would cover his ears and shut his eyes the whole time. We’ve had some poor movie experiences because of his autism, and I was a bit apprehensive. But I was convinced that he would like the film.

The boy sat still and quiet through the whole movie, start to finish. Amazing. And as we left he said, “I guess that was a pretty good movie after all.”

Success.

How can John Carter be a ‘flop’? My boy liked it. It was incredible!