Interaction and Entitlement

Here’s where I wax philosophical. Forgive me if I offend. I had this revelation today, after waiting for my very late cable guy. I wanted to share my thoughts, and see if you agree (or disagree).

A lot of people are posting these days about this prevalent sense of entitlement in our culture. By this, I’m referring to the culture in the United States. I don’t imply that this is a global phenomenon.

Entitlement. This idea that we automatically deserve certain things, just for being here. “I’m 40 years old, therefore I should be paid no less than $30k per year.” “I’ve worked here for five years, therefore I should be a manager.” “I’ve graduated from college, therefore I should have a job.” “I’ve worked hard, therefore I deserve a new car.” “I’ve worked here longer, so my opinion is better than yours.” This goes along with the idea that employment and life status is somehow a meritocracy. “I have a Ph.D., therefore I get at least $50k per year salary and job security.”

Well, it don’t work that way.

I’ve noticed that this sense isn’t really limited to the ‘younger’ generation. Not necessarily. I say this because my generation marvels at how they aren’t like this, but their kids are. How could that have happened?

Well, we were raised differently, but we do share the same culture. We live in the same world. Entitlement is just a part of that. “Hit by a car? We’ll get you the money you deserve!”

It occurs to me that part of this stems from how we communicate. It’s easy to e-mail a student and tell them they’re failing and not care one bit. It’s hard to look that same student in the eye and tell them that their grade is hopeless. It’s easy to be angry with that inconsiderate cable repair man who is so late but still not here. It’s hard to be angry when the cable guy calls you and apologizes profusely. It’s easy to write a snarky e-mail about how you’ve been abused by your colleagues. It’s impossible to look them in the eye and tell them how horribly they’ve treated you.

Once you are forced to deal with another person directly, they become just that: another person. Not an e-mail address or a wall. Another human being who might be just as upset as you are. They might be genuinely sorry for an unintentional slight against you. They might actually be having a really rough semester.

Whatever it is, it behooves us as human beings to remember that behind every e-mail address, Twitter account, and Facebook wall, there is a real, live, breathing human being. We need to, absolutely as much as possible, get out and talk to people.

Take advantage of your professor’s office hours. I can tell you, having been on both sides of the desk, the outcome is more likely to be positive when direct communication takes place. If you’re angry at someone, suck it up and talk to them. And, if someone is angry with you, suck it up and LISTEN. We don’t have to like each other. We just need to communicate.

What’s this got to do with entitlement? Well, let’s see…

If you don’t actually ever interact with people, you’ll never realize that everyone’s got the same problems as you. You’re not that different.  Yes, everybody should be able to have the life they want if they work hard. In today’s economy, it’s almost impossible.  It’s not a meritocracy. And it stinks!

And consider this: You post on Facebook that you think you need that hot new Corvette, because you’re older now and deserve it. All your friends ‘like’ it. There’s your feedback. You deserve it. You’re entitled. Why can’t you have it?

Facebook isn’t life. Facebook is you sending your opinion out to a bunch of people who are your ‘friends.’ I have 400+ friends on Facebook. There are 7 billion people on Earth. and really, I think the most ‘likes’ I’ve ever gotten is about 20 on any one post. Can you say “biased sample”?

But this is how we perceive the world. This is how we interact. Only talking to our friends, whether by social media or texting. TV is full of commercials about how you deserve this or that. We’re all drawn in. We all deserve better than what we got.

We need to be out in the world more often. We need to go to the bank rather than hitting an ATM. Go to the mall rather than buying things online. Take classes in classrooms, rather than getting your Associate’s Degree online. when we interact more with people directly, we see that we are not alone in our needs and wants. We see that others have it just as bad or worse than we do. We need to step back and reflect.

We aren’t really that entitled.